Questioning Anger After Witnessing Unkindness

THE BOLDER WAY™

QUESTION ANYTHING

QUESTION RESOURCE 0014

THE QUESTION

What am I responding to when I become angry about how another Human is being treated?

Witnessing another Human being treated unkindly can become personal in ways I may not immediately see. I may be responding to the conduct itself, what I believe it means, what it represents, what it brings up in me, or how I experience the Human receiving it. Questioning the anger does not require me to minimize what happened or decide in advance what it means.

A QUESTION TO HOLD

What changes when I experience the Human being treated unkindly as someone like me?

BEGIN WHERE SOMETHING GETS YOUR ATTENTION.

You do not have to answer every Question.

THE BOLDER WAY™

QUESTION ANYTHING

QUESTION RESOURCE 0014

BEGIN HERE

What about what I witnessed has my attention?

The words?
What I think they meant?
The other Human's reaction?
The characteristic being targeted?
No one intervened?
The setting?
What I think it represents?
What I imagine could happen to me?

What makes this Human feel similar to me?

A characteristic being targeted?
A shared identity, role, background, or experience?
A vulnerability I recognize?
Something from my own history?
Something else?

TENSION

What meaning does that similarity add to what I witnessed?

WHAT ARE YOU NOTICING?

THE BOLDER WAY™

QUESTION ANYTHING

QUESTION RESOURCE 0014

IDENTIFICATION / MEANING

When something is directed at another Human, what makes it feel as though something has also been directed at me?

Am I imagining myself in their place?
Does something from my own history become present?
Am I hearing a message about "people like us"?
Am I becoming alert to the possibility of similar treatment toward me?

Am I angry for them, for me, for us - or for something else?

THE OTHER HUMAN

Am I responding to their experience - or to the experience I imagine I would have had?

What am I assuming about how they experienced it?
What do I actually know?
Did they tell me how they experienced it?
Am I allowing their experience to remain theirs?

LOOK AGAIN

Am I responding only to what happened here - or also to what I believe it represents?

THE BOLDER WAY™

QUESTION ANYTHING

QUESTION RESOURCE 0014

LET THE QUESTION MOVE

What does my anger seem to be asking me to do?

Intervene?
Speak?
Support?
Report?
Confront?
Protect?
Remember?
Change something?
Do nothing yet?

TAKE AWAY

What am I taking away from something that happened to another Human?

LOOK AGAIN THROUGH THE THREE LENSES

SELF

What became personal for me in what I witnessed?

SYSTEMS

What, if anything, does the System need to address about what happened?

SOCIETY

What larger meaning am I giving what I witnessed?

BRING THE QUESTION BACK

What am I responding to?
What meaning did similarity add?
What action, if any, still belongs after I Question the anger?

What does this reveal about Being Human?

Answers can come from anywhere. Questioning remains yours.

Questioning Anger After Witnessing Unkindness — QR-0014